its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
