I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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