Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
