She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
