i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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