she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
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