dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize