So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
