I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
