I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
