i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
