It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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