somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize
