either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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