You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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