he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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