I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
You're a waste of cheezeits
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Randomize
