So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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