yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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