ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
