i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
