remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
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