the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
