Can Purell be used as lube?
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
