names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize