Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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