the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize