i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
We named our party play list daddy issues
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Randomize
