Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize