he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
