Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
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