Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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