I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
