that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
