i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
