Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize