It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
