Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
