I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
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