you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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