By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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