We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
