batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Randomize
