Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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