Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
We have so much sex to catch up on
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
