you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I showed him my bush... on skype.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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