is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
