Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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