Duck Duck Cougar?
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
