so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
