Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
NoShamevember. You game?
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
