I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
