i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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