Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Randomize
