if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
