would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I could make wine with my vomit
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Randomize
