I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize