I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Duck Duck Cougar?
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
