When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
