Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
