Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
