Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
