what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Randomize
