I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
I smell like Dick and happiness
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
