I wish i was in the wii world.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
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