She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
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